This sort of response is based on hurt. I am tired of hearing married men whining about their wives not putting out often enough. The first is your relationship with your spouse. Be kind to yourself. If some of the conditions are not doable, ask yourself, "What was different back then? For example, some people tell me that sex was better before they had children. If it were up to her, you would not even be getting that bimonthly tepid sex you are getting.
Cut back or eliminate alcohol and tobacco. Spend time with friends. It is estimated that one out of every three couples has a sexual desire gap. Don't resign yourself to passionless lovemaking or a relationship void of true intimacy. When you think back to times when things were better between you sexually, you may ask yourself what happened to your passion and what caused this to change in you. Work on your relationship If the dip in your sexual desire is due to negative feelings about your marriage or spouse, it's time to do something constructive about it. If this is uncomfortable for you, consider reading an "improve your sex life" self-help book together at night. Stop blaming your spouse. For example, some people tell me that sex was better before they had children. Were you having sex in different positions, locations, times of day, week, or month? Take time to nurture your spiritual side. In other words, although it may not be perfect, you can rearrange your lives so that you can replicate at least part of what was working for you back then. So, get out those running shoes I know this has not been your intention. Give it some time. Didn't it feel great? But don't wait until the issues in your marriage get resolved before you start putting energy into restoring your passion. Improve your self-esteem and outlook on life If personal issues are preventing you from feeling good about yourself and your life, it's time to give yourself a boost. Decide to become adventurous and try things you haven't tried before to see if you find them enjoyable. In fact, sex therapists report that a sexual desire gap is the number one sexual problem brought to their offices. Experiment with novelty Sexual relationships often become boring when you do the same old thing over and over. Develop a new hobby. Talk openly about your preferences As you begin to figure out what you like and don't like, you have to commit to discussing it openly and specifically with your spouse. You have to stop thinking you can have a great relationship without satisfying sex unless your partner wholeheartedly agrees. If you aren't all that interested in sex at the moment, you are probably thinking, "I don't feel cheated at all," but I'd like for you to take a moment and think back to a time when sex was more fulfilling. Evaluate whether side effects from medications or medical conditions are a factor in your situation.
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