After decades of women struggling for the right to vote, to own land, to go to school, she argues, the "choice" to engage in sugar relationships is steeped in contradiction. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health. But I was always convinced that she will forgive them because they did not cheat on purpose, they did it because they could not do it otherwise," he says. Kerubo, a year-old from Kisii in Western Kenya, maintains that she has control of her relationship with her sugar daddy, Alfred. There is less slut-shaming than before.
Eva's experience is transactional sex in its most unvarnished form - a hurried one-off encounter, driven by desperation. But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. Two years into their relationship, the man moved her into a new apartment because he wanted her to be more comfortable. She also insists that her relationships with Tom and Jeff, both married, involve friendship and intimacy as well as financial exchange. Na which young girl no dey fear hunger? Equally famous is model and socialite Huddah Monroe, who also rose to fame on reality TV - in her case Big Brother Africa, in - and who now runs a well-established line of cosmetics. In fact she has had unprotected sex with multiple sugar daddies, who then have sex with other women, as well as with their wives, exposing all of these partners to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Older men have always used gifts, status, and influence to buy access to young women. They must stay perfectly nice, but likeable people, so I think that was why I was re-writing very much this scenario so that I could obtain the balance. Until recently there was no data to indicate how many young Kenyan women are involved in sugar relationships. George Paul Meiu, who studies transactional relationships between men of Kenya's Samburu tribe and older European women, has described how their youth and good looks have become valuable commodities in Kenya's beach resorts. She is poor by the standards of middle-class Kenyans, often living hand-to-mouth, dancing for cash in a nightclub, and struggling to put her daughter through school. Both Grace and Jane have come of age in the last decade, bombarded since childhood with images of female status built on sex appeal. Is she driven more by vanity or poverty, aspiration or desperation? THE STUDENT Jane, a year-old Kenyan undergraduate who readily admits to having two sponsors, sees nothing shameful in such relationships - they are just part of the everyday hustle that it takes to survive in Nairobi, she says. After decades of women struggling for the right to vote, to own land, to go to school, she argues, the "choice" to engage in sugar relationships is steeped in contradiction. The days of waking up early and working from morning to night are behind us, he says: It's taken for granted in these conversations that men will provide the money on which women will survive. The sudden emphasis on entrepreneurship does not hide the fact that these women used their sex appeal to create opportunities in the first place. The lines are blurred. If I look hot, I look good, there has got be some rich guy who will pay good money to possess me," says Oyunga Pala, Nairobi columnist and social commentator. Most young women, she says, are not aware of the dangers. If women have become more willing to profit financially from their youth and beauty, she says, it's partly because of Kenya's gross economic inequalities, lack of social mobility, and widespread corruption. The desire not to go hungry and the desire to taste the good life can easily run side by side. It's like they just want company, they want someone to talk to," she says. Hard work won't get them anywhere. But according to Crystal Simeoni, an expert on gender and economic policy, Kenyan society encourages sugar relationships in other ways too.
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