But what about now? A woman who possesses this spirit humbly responds to whatever God chooses for her life, regardless of the cost. A gentle and quiet spirit is not a personality type. We are to give ourselves without qualification and not withhold the pleasure of sex. Be Anticipatory It has been said that the sexiest organ of the human body lies between our ears. Everyone entering marriage is entering it with their good desire twisted into lustful and selfish forms. The unmarried became the godly ascetic. His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.
How we think influences our sexual desire. His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. Mutual consent, healing, and concern for the other are necessary aspects of a Christ-honoring sexual relationship within marriage. It was hard not to anticipate the wedding night and that first opportunity to express our passion. The answer is, whatever is attractive to our husbands! He states his audience clearly: The husband and wife in the Song of Solomon understood this principle: Of course, there is no such thing as sexuality that is not tainted by sin. His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires. And we should strive to care for our appearance — not only when we go out, but also at home where only our husbands see us. It seems backward, then, that Paul would advocate entering into such a relationship for selfish reasons. As Elisabeth Elliot encourages us: And some of you may be in my season of life — where everything about my physical appearance is headed in one direction, and that would not be uphill! Because of the transforming power of Jesus Christ, even the most difficult and painful situation can be turned into a story of grace. Another common reason for a lack of sexual desire is fatigue. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands. A woman who possesses this spirit humbly responds to whatever God chooses for her life, regardless of the cost. Again, we need to acknowledge, like Paul in 1 Corinthians 5, that if a relationship is destructive, dysfunctional, or unhealthy, there are many times when the best path is separation and discipline, not marriage. Is burning an inconvenient reality that both God and man must shamefully and reluctantly endure until heaven? But what about now? In fact, it was in making particular gifts singleness and tongues signs of a higher and more mystical spirituality that the Corinthians were oppressing one another. Most of us will confess that before marriage our sexual desire was strong. When we neglect to think sexual thoughts, we should not be surprised by our lack of sexual desire. I would also encourage you and your husband to pursue biblical counseling from your pastor and his wife or another mature couple in your church. Moreover, the sexual life to which Paul invites the unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7:
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