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  1. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Finally, its design is clearly sexist -- choking the chicken involves a lot more wrist action than rolling the trackball.

  2. Champagne wishes and caviar wet dreams. For one thing, anyone wearing this ugly item is going to have to significantly lower their standards even to fuck themselves.

  3. The Wake-Up Vibe is an alarm clock that wakes you up with vibrations you're killing it with these descriptive names, fuck-merchants , after which you'll probably fall immediately back to sleep. That might even work better -- according to one shameless customer, the vibrations are "weak and buzzy" and "even as an alarm clock, this could fail to do the trick.

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