I have been married for two years and share a healthy relationship with my husband. When we were young there was some sexual tension between us, though we never did anything wrong. I suggest that in future when you are fantasising you make it about somebody else because even though you are never going to do anything with your sister it is causing you distress to have her as the object of your desire. It did mean, however, that my sister was becoming increasingly a part of my sexual imagination. My sister quite openly kisses me on the lips when we meet and part.
I'd never discuss this issue with someone else, except my wife. Do I carry on and hope that in time these odd feelings I have for my sister will go away? I do not want to hurt his ego by letting him know this bitter truth but I am sexually frustrated due to this. It did mean, however, that my sister was becoming increasingly a part of my sexual imagination. She has had in the past, several relationships with men but they led to nothing permanent. Regarding her lack of interest in sex since becoming menopausal, you should encourage her to discuss this with her GP, as the lack of estrogen may be causing vaginal dryness. You have mentioned that you both have a healthy relationship, which I think will help you to communicate with your partner easily and you can try expressing your sexual dissatisfaction. Sitting down, she would often draw up her knees and let me see up her dress. I appreciate that you have shared your concerns here. I would not advise discussing all of this with your sister, as one way or another you could end up feeling very hurt, or worse still, be made to feel that you are imagining things. What an awful lot has been left unsaid in this email and I'm sure there is quite a story behind it that caused you to write to me. There are things that my sister says and does that I see as a form of sexual teasing, but it is quite possible that she is unaware of her effect on me. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. I told my wife about this when I got home but she laughed it all off saying that my sister was simply being practical. On one occasion, when my sister was 15, there was a family event, and my mother bought her some new clothes. But when in my middle years I started having problems with not being able to ejaculate when making love with my wife, a piece of advice I was given was to think of something that excited me sexually. Besides trust and open communication between partners, sexual satisfaction and healthy sexual relationship are also very important for a married couple. Others look forward, wonder what is around the next corner, and hope that life will continue to be exciting. You can visit a sex counsellor for guidance. Somehow my mind drifted back to those days with my sister as I fantasised about what might have been, and that plan actually worked. It is possible with a little work to re-write the scenario in your head and leave your sister out of it. On another occasion I had carried out a messy chore for her in the garden, and she told me if I wanted to clean up and shower she'd get something fresh for me to wear. The ideal way of dealing with your concern is to speak to him directly and make efforts of trying new things in your sexual act to make it interesting and exciting for both of you. Your very first erotic object was that white silk underwear and you no doubt found that silk underwear was always capable of turning you on as you progressed through life. I think it is wonderful that you have been able to talk with your wife about all of this and she sounds like a rock of sense. Time passed and those earlier experiences faded in my memory.
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